For those of you who have not heard, today is the International Pagan Coming Out Day! In lieu of today's festiveness, I have spent some time over the past couple of weeks contemplating what my life would be like without my Pagan path. Suffice it to say that my life would be very bleak indeed. Paganism is a central part of my identity; it is a cornerstone in the foundation of who I am and what I do and stand for. To me, Paganism is just another expression of my life.
I first came out as a Pagan when I was thirteen years old. My parents were the first people I told. Initially, they argued that I was too young to make such a grand decision. Nevertheless, I had been studying various Pagan paths since I was ten, and this apparently provided me with enough knowledge to convince my parents that my choice was not just a part of a phase--of course, my stubborn will may have helped my cause, as well. After coming out to my parents, I decided to be completely open about my religion with anyone and everyone. In a single, explosive, overnight move, I vowed in all situations to be myself--Pagan identity included.
This was a very bold move on my part, and I would not readily suggest it to others. Yes, it was great to be open about my identity, but it was not easy, and I did not always express my identity in the best way. I chose to be open about my Pagan path while I was attending a Roman Catholic school system, freely answering other students' questions. I was not just proud about my newly found identity, I was also loud--too loud. My over-zealousness got me into a fair amount of turmoil: My parents sought help from their priest; my fellow students made rash judgments about my character; and several teachers adamantly pitted themselves against me. It was not an easy period in my life: I was in-your-face, and I paid for it.
Looking back, I can see the problems with how I first came out. Yet, I am glad that I had these experiences. They helped me to construct smarter and safer ways to come out about my Pagan identity. They also helped to harden me a bit: I am not afraid of what others may say or do to me because I am Pagan. I have seen the negative backlashes, I have heard the back-stabbing comments, and I have known the pain of being left behind because of my Pagan path. But, thanks to my first round of coming out, I also know that life goes on. Things are only as bad as we make them. If we can learn from our undesirable experiences, they can become the tools by which we build a better present.
It has now been seven years since I first came out as a Pagan to my family and friends. During this time I have grown immensely in my religious and spiritual paths. I have had both wonderful and horrifying experiences, but each one has been a chance for growth. I have lost friends and gained new ones. I have learned to live and to let myself life. I have found a beacon from which to view the layout of the world. And I have realized that, although I first came out seven years ago, I am still coming out as a Pagan everyday, every hour, and in every moment of my life. Each move I make is an act of coming out--an act of stepping into and reaffirming my Pagan identity.
In summation, a poem:
Coming Out
Each day, I come out as a Pagan
In the morning, when the sun peaks above the horizon, I stand before my altar in meditation—
I come out again to my gods, my ancestors, my tribe, myself, to all that I hold sacred,
As I proclaim my dedication and pledge my loyalty to my path.
I am Pagan.
In the afternoon, when the busyness of the day ensues, I go to class, to work, to lunch with friends—
I come out again to all who take notice of me,
As my actions, words, and deeds are riddled with my values and virtues—Pagan values and virtues.
I am Pagan.
In the evening, as the sunlight fades, I sit down to sup—
I come out again to all gathered at my table,
As, taking the first moments of the meal, I reflect on the blessings bestowed.
I am Pagan.
In the nighttime, preparing to crawl into bed, I stand before my altar, ending the day where I began it—
I come out again to all the day has presented me with,
As I pray for the things I need guidance on and I give gratitude to those forces and beings who guide.
I am Pagan.
In each moment I am prompted to grow in my path.
In each moment I am renewed religiously and spiritually.
In each moment I come out:
To the sacred,
To the world,
To myself.
In each moment I smile and proclaim:
I am Pagan.
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For more information on International Pagan Coming Out Day, visit pagancomingoutday.com
